How Do We Know When It’s Time To Change?
We are so close to the big day, and we are joined by Helen Bailey, who is a Learning and Development Consultant based in Stoke on Trent specialising in Leadership, Inclusion and assessing for both ILM and CIPD providers. She is connectable via - https://www.linkedin.com/in/helen-bailey-5389499/ I have know Helen for around 4 years and it’s great to have her contributing a brilliant blog, as part of #AdventBlogs so over to Helen.
2025 has been a year of change although as Heraclitus noted ‘There is nothing permanent except change.’ For me this year I have made decisions to consciously stop doing some activities that weren’t really working for me for a variety of reasons.
So how do we know when it’s time to change?
Jane Hodgson posted this great post about whether we want to be a passenger or a captain in life and if we extend this metaphor further identifying our North Star i.e. what is it that we are about and are we truly living in a way that helps us achieve this?
The big question for me here is how often do we reflect on our North Star and how this changes throughout our lives. What I aspired to in my 20s is very different to my aspirations now in my 50s and there is something else here about being okay with that.
Rokeach’s Values Survey helps us identify our terminal values which are our end state goals and instrumental goals which are the ones that help us get there. If these two things are in conflict that can feel uncomfortable as we are not being our authentic selves - that in itself can be a signal to change.
For myself there are some very clear signs that something needs to change although in the beginning I might not always be completely clear about what that is.
A couple of months ago I was lucky enough to attend a session with Mark Deeks who was speaking about the power of music and for me a signal that something needs to change is when I start to listen to ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road’ by Elton John. It speaks to me about making a conscious decision to change, particularly ‘I finally decided my future lies beyond the yellow brick road.’
I also have migraines and cluster headaches - this is often the first sign that something is off kilter in my world. Marc Brackett talks about being an ‘Emotions Scientist’ and being curious about our emotions and investigating further. The same applies here when there are signs I start to think about what is going on and what might be causing this. It is worth noting that this might not be an instant thought - sometimes it can take some time and often a few walks can bring it into perspective.
My other signal is that if something no longer sparks joy as popularised by Maria Kondo - is it adding value to my life and if not why am I still doing it?
I’m not perfect and like us all I am a work in progress and sometimes I don’t read the signs as well as I could do. In addition change can be scary and as a reforming people pleaser I hate to let people down but I also recognise that change is necessary. After making the changes I referred to at the start of this blog my world feels lighter and brighter.
One of my favourite musicians is Billy Joel and in the song Vienna there is a lyric which sums up my feelings on change - ‘You can get what you want or you can just get old.’ In order to have a life well lived we need to change, to progress or evolve.
How will you know when it is time to change?
The North Star on a clear night sky